Originall published: November 23rd, 2008
Last year I found a cute little garden place in London. It was about seven blocks from my friend Sophie’s house so we snapped it up.
Then, well, the difficulties interfered and I didn’t go.
So, once again, I have been scrolling through Craig’s List looking at all apartments sorted with “dog” as my primary criteria.
Then I posted an ad of my own under “housing wanted.”
Oh.
My.
God.
I understand that Americans and Brits are the people divided by a common language, but really—many of these people do not have an acquaintance with the English language.
This one wasn’t so bad:
“Sorry to border you i Saw your advert that you are looking for vacant apartment in …………. area just want to inform you dat i have a vacant apartment contact me for more details about my apartment . ”
An inordinate amount of property seems to be owned by persons who have been transferred back to Nigeria or other parts of West Africa, but they would be glad to rent to me. I could send the money to them or to the wife in New Jersey, or the attorney. And I thought that solicitor was the most used term…
Another made references to the need for me to be “tidy” and that the landlord would be checking to make sure of that.
Screw that. Here I am, considering a restraining order against my present landlord for his constant intrusion. And we know, tidy is not my life. What part of “artist” connotes “tidy?” I want it clean under the clutter, but, I’ll be damned if I am going to rent from someone I already know is obviously going to be an intrusive ass.
So, if you know anyone with a nice place to rent in London, at least two rooms, for a grad student and her doggie, hopefully near a park or with a teenie garden, just let me know!